dirty underwears

2003-06-14T09:59:00.000-04:00

there. something new?

2003-06-12T07:03:00.000-04:00

blogger changed their publishing format. its looking pretty slick i might add. user friendly too.

but now im just talking like im some kinda computer nerd. little do you all know, that i know nothing about computers.
anyhow, now you can post an entry ahead of time..like im talking at a future date.

i did one for this upcoming wednesday. well see if that actually worked.

why am i telling you this? i dunno.

im a big geek.

2003-06-12T06:59:00.000-04:00

why am i up?
its too early. toldya my sleep patterns are messed again. toldya.

who am i talking to? hahah

anyhow, im on the york U site...checking and making sure that my enrollment window does actually open tomorrow morning.

i still gotta strategically plan that, man! i was talking to a girl in my same situation, so obviously, she has the basically the same scheduled course - more or less, and she was able to plan her year in such a way that there are only 3 skool days and two off.

mind you, 1 of those 3 work days is pretty long..but not really..just till 4pm. anyhow, like i was saying, i gotta pick an hour out of my day and do that. but first things first....i get my head shaved.

and my face too for that matter. i like a killer. hahaha visual proof that i dont care about anything when its exam and paper writing crunch-time.

as for later today....my class! my first class!

2003-06-10T23:08:00.000-04:00

paper is done.

and that my friends, is how you write a 10 page essay on blood doping.

i know all there is to know, that you never wanted to know, about nothing. thank you.

this is probably the earliest that i've ever finished a paper. its only 11pm.

in other news, i heard it through the grapevine that filipino independence day celebrations are in full effect over at pearl lounge and a few other clubs this weekend. i might just have to reach and represent for my filipino sisters. werd.

but then again, i have a national coaching certification test i gotta write on monday, and a coaching exam on wednesday.
grrrr..its never ending!

if i dont get certified, i dont think i pass the course. and if i dont pass the exam, well..that was a big waste of a whole month's worth of summerskool.

but, we shall see..i deserve breaks. dont i?

2003-06-08T22:38:00.000-04:00

ohhh riiiite. i almost didnt mention....guess it wasnt all asian....

had a nice ice cream cake from DQ. holla!

i can eat DQ alllll day. its low fat ice milk, ya know. k well not low fat. but low(er) fat than your conventional ice cream. so yea..that's a plus. now i want a blizzard.

oreo maybe..or skor....or maybe mint oreo..yea! mint and chocolate, the best marriage of flavours ever.

as for orange and chocolate...how rancid!
blah.

2003-06-08T21:34:00.000-04:00

all asian. all day.

mmm...

filipino fried rice for breakfast (why we eat that for breakfast, who knows? its last nite's rice anyhow).

chinese food for lunch.

japanese food, in honour of my bro, for dinner. with the whole family!

good times. good times.

pics up later...maybe even tonite. but later in the week most likely. peace out jiggas!

2003-06-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

hey..you were right r.j!

read up on the the york lions.

rooaarrrrrrrr!

i'd cop a tshirt.

oh the times, they are a'changin.

i personally think they should call themselves the york jasons. it'd be a logo consisting of me shirtless - flexing one arm while running toward the last GO bus toward mississauga.
such a design symbolizes the skool's strength and courage to put up with crap transportation services while paying extremely high, and ever increasing, fares to ride a green bus from the region of vaughan..or as aaron pronounces it, "vag-an"..like vegan..but maybe its the female version.

"va-gan"...what do they teach those kids up there in waterloo?

just kiddn! it's all love dude. no cutting glass now.

2003-06-08T00:03:00.000-04:00

im real sore. like "fall out of the sky and land on a cactus sore", sore.

did anyone try reaching me tonite?

sorry if you did. i crashed for like 5hours just now. there is extreme localized pain and suffering in my legs. they have partially lost function.

if you were to take a blood sample rite now, you'd probably get a high level reading of endorphine in my blood. in other words, my body's producing tonnes of natural pain killer...that kinda explains why i knocked myself out for 5hours rite now. as for the pain killer, maybe i should do a thesis on extracting endorphine from natural sources for use in treatments of burn victims or other patients in extreme care. doesn't that sound good? too bad! its my idea! so yea, imma head out soon and cop the patents and copyrights for that sucka.

back to going out...then again, that's not the only reason i didnt go out tonite. i was and am gonna stay in, by choice. got this stupid ass paper on blood doping in sport to do for coaching.

no nucleus. essential for clotting. but hey, clotting isn't always a good thing now is it?

did you know that one of my previous profs was responsible for being the pioneer discoverer in doping, worldwide? probably not, cause YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY PROFS! but yea, i just wanted to show off how i have the best profs...the best profs, but the biggest egos, who are high up there in kinesiology overall..anywhere...who are ready to crush their students with their ever-powerful fist. but yea..read about one of the gods in my faculty here.

damn smartasses. genius i say. genius.

2003-06-07T05:58:00.000-04:00

why am i up?

that was a whole three hours of sleep i just got.

2003-06-05T21:29:00.000-04:00

great. tomorrow's gonna be a long ass day.

coaching tomrrow, is a practical class. and although im excited, i know imma be tired as fuct.
we're doing plyometrics and other forms of training. my body is gonna kill, i can forsee it. i had her for my strength training class. she used to be the coach for the canadian track and field team. isnt this fucking great? i think she thinks were all elite athletes. good challenge though. and that's nothing to complain bout.

after class, imma stick around and read athletic, sport psych, sport sociology and sport medicince journals in order to write a paper on something to do with violence in sport.

guess im not going out this weekend.

AGAIN.

2003-06-05T15:55:00.000-04:00

and there we have it...my brother has been commenced.

muhahhhhahahaahahahhahahahahaha

but why am i laughing in that evil sorta way?

who knows.

2003-06-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

"if i could see any further, it would be on the shoulder of a giant" - sir isaac newton

taken from the valedictorian's address.

"if i could open my mouth any wider, it would be on the breast of a gorgeous giant" - jay

taken from his messed up mind.

2003-06-05T15:25:00.000-04:00

[yawn]

currently watching my bro's convocation over at rye-high and great God almighty! there are alotta damn graduates.

furthermore, theyre just starting with aerospace engineering..chemical engineering....we also got computer engineering, mechanical engineering and electrical (my bro's faculty) somewhere in there.

now im kinda thankful i didnt go. id probably be sitting there for like 4 hours. god.

hahahah

hurry up surname D's!!!! hurry it up.

2003-06-05T09:48:00.000-04:00

respect.

congratulations to my brother!
it's his commencement today!

of course, a vital source of inspiration.

too bad he only gets two tickets though. i really wanna go. however, the guy did offer me a chance to watch it on the internet later on today.

unfortunately, i hate watching live webcasts. it aint my thang.
dont worry, if i did have plans to watch it, i would put on some clothes, and not simply view the ceremony in my wears.

geez, you know me better than that.
a wifebeater would surely fit the occassion. we all know i roll in style.

i'm proud of him, for sure. but shhhhh...ya didnt hear that from my mouth. wouldnt want it getting to his head.

2003-06-04T16:06:00.000-04:00

do any of you ever wonder how much shit we've lived through already? and most of you reading this, are what? in your 20's or so...right?

living in this era, youll be able to account, to your kids, that:
-the berlin wall crumbled down
-michael jackson had more variations than a hot wheels color-changing car
-o.j. simpson got away with murder
-life did go on after the clock struck 12am on the eve of january 2000
-desert storm
-the iraqi war
-SARS/WEST NILE/MAD COW
-the AIDS epidemic
-the smurfs, gummie bears and the chipmunks (alvin too)
-NAFTA
-9/11
-oklahoma bombings
-bombs over baghdad
-saving afghans
-cloning
-the mapping of DNA
-the birth of toonie tuesdays at kfc transitioning to "toonie-two's" day (i.e. from $2.00 to $2.22..whatta sham!)
-mark mcguire using hormone enhancements to smash away the homerun record
-you graduating (me and everyone my age being part of the class of 2000!!)
-the east coast-west coast rap rivalry along with the death of two super m.c.'s
-kurt cobain and the seattle grudge scene
-the bulls dynasty and later, the lakers dynasty
-hulkamania
-the internet and superfast computers
-the olympic bombing
-thinning of the ozone layer
-from nike air to nike shox
-thug lovin'
-rice rockets and the 2FAST 2FURIOUS generation
-jeans that seem to have been painted on the bodies of their owners
-napster and movie ripping
-mini sattelite dishes
-cd burning
-breast implants
..and soo soo sooooo much more!

and shoot, we're only a quarter, on average, through life.
there's a lot more kids!

2003-06-04T15:41:00.000-04:00

A on 30% coaching midterm baby!

seeeeeeee! bring on the olympic Philippine yo-yo team! surely, i can guide them to supreme standing.

2 more weeks of summerskool! hollerrrr.

that was the fastest course i've ever taken, and probably will ever take!

now, bring on emergency care and possibly, scuba/skin diving.

2003-06-04T07:14:00.000-04:00

that might stop a dude's heart from beating.

you know how you wake up in the morning sometimes, and you got a song in your head?

maybe you dont. i do though. yea, maybe i just have a couple of screws loose.
anyhow, today's song was boogie down production's "the bridge is over".

its weird, i woke up to it, i probably had it in my dream too. for those of you who are familiar with that song, its not really a happy beat. kinda scary actually. kinda like a song they play in a movie while your getting chased....lets say..in a forest...or small town. but yea, thats the song i have in my head this morning.

2003-06-03T22:28:00.000-04:00

guess im not getting invited to any sleepovers eh?

a lot of you arent aware that when im in front of the computer, im usually in my underwears. sometimes..sometimes i wear a t-shirt.

now pause and give that some thought.

when youre chatting with me, im like that. when i visit your webpage, im like that.

dont you feel violated?? hahahahahhah

GOOD.

2003-06-03T13:20:00.000-04:00

grocery.

moms and i went grocery, but before that, we copped some eats. wendy's was the establishment of her choice.

boy i hate wendy's. not a big fan of junk..but wendy's...yuck. dry fries. overpriced grub...however, the salads are aiiiite.

today's burger was something different though. it was a bacon double something..i cant recall the name..but it had bacon. i figure, if i never eat junk..and this is an out of the ordinary experience, i might as well go all out. so yea, i also upsized to a litre of iced tea and a fatass cup of cancerous fries.

there's nothing like something so simple, done so good (in this case, my burger).

one more thing, there's a special at loblaws. 99cents for five alive 1.89L cartons. there's no limit, i might add. so yea...we copped 4 tropical and 2 berry. tropical, cause im tropical (right colin?). so yea, i had to mention that cause the last time there was a sale on breyer's ice cream, and my family overindulged in the circumstances, some of you got mad cause i didn't mention it. therefore, some of you got "left out".

so there, special. 99cents. five alive. no limit.

this message was brought to you by jason the community grocery special bulletin board. here to serve you.

morons.

as for now, i gotta pee. had two glasses of water this morning. one glass of seven up. 1L of iced tea and some food in there somewhere..so yea, that counts for some water content. now, i must relieve myself.

by the way, going to wendy's, i saw a lot of the highschool kids frequenting the joint. made me feel kinda old. which isn't necessarily bad, mind you.

PEEs.

hey! wait a second, that's not....who the hell are you man?!!
imposter! security!

2003-06-01T21:32:00.000-04:00

you know what i like to do to mosquitos? when you see one in the action of sucking you, squeeze the area of skin surrounding the little bugger and overdose he/she with blood till they explode.

now that's awesome!

but just to let you know, by the time you actually see the bug on you - sticking you, you probably have the virus in your bloodstream.

so in other words, repel! repel!

like the ugly girl who has a crush on you and wants to sit in the seat beside you, dont let them get close enough.

bag blocking the neighbouring seat is to ugly girl like deet is to west nile mosquito vector.

(awwww)
im a nice guy. really. it was a joke.
call me el joke-o.

2003-06-01T21:22:00.000-04:00

health is the absence of illness.

here in my hood, we're currently dealing with 3 threats to health.

1. SARS
2. mad cow disease
3. the west nile virus.

youve most likely heard about the three and how to prevent their disruption and/or threat to your well-being.

now if youre aware, or if youre not, there really is no use in tripping.

i wanna focus on west nile virus and mad cow.
true, both are big threats. and yes, both can kill you.

but in my honest opinion, from my basis of knowledge, and not general knowledge that one obtains from the media...the same media thats out there to scare the shit out of you so you can keep on tuning in for the latest updates; therefore creating more ratings; therefore attracting more sponsers; therefore making their broadcasting corporations large amounts of cabbage, i don't think everyone should trip.

dont stop eating beef.
dont stop going outdoors.

dont stop enjoying your life.

take the proper precautions but dont trip.

do not trip.

you will all be fine. just thought id put in my dirty, lustre-lacking, oxidized copper, two cents.
be careful, but don't trip.

wutdafuk are they so mad for, anyways?

2003-06-01T11:47:00.000-04:00

unofficially in year III specialized honours kinesiology and health science!

higher than last year's average baby!
(and no, i dont share my grades with the world. thats some personal shit. you wanna see? hack me.)

not the greatest, true. but not the worst.

and again, its kinda fucked how every year my my grades get better. isnt it the rule of thumb that as you proceed through your years in academia, youre supposed to get lower grades?

isnt that how it is? an inverse proportional relationship? *thumb gestures in effect* years increase - grades decrease

x axis = years
y axis = grades

well i guess im the special exception, now aren't i?

k, ok...im just happy. i dont wanna get too cocky now.

jason, there is still a long way to go.

there, im grounded. and that folks, is my good news. holla if ya hear me!

which takes me to give a brief glance into my third year coming up...

1. i gotta look into graduate skools and/or possibly med skool (maybe..key word...my heart's not into it).
2. i gotta look into my plan B, plan C and plan D if that doesn't happen.
3. i just might double major. psych sounds nice.
4. kick myself in the ass harder and get in check.
5. start weaning all of my friends slowly. when next year hits, imma live like a rice hermit. so me cutting off ties gradually, well, that should help both you and me cope, a little better. (i still love you guys though. youre my peeps..well still get coffee and/or beers...lets say..once a year. hahaha)
6. refine my focus. refine my skills. refine my focus. refine my skills.

jay the rice hermit:
yes, the tree in the forest, with no one around, does make a noise.

"so this is year 3 huh???
a pair of water-buffalo, a whole lotta water and a lot to show for it."

bring it on!!

2003-05-29T23:18:00.000-04:00

a small statement of awe.

watch c.s.i.

i meant to say that before, but i just kept forgetting. mah bad.
those cats are so on point anatomically and physiologically speaking.

besides, the stories....the stories are dope.

that's all. g'nite.

by the way, i want a woman to dominate me. leather, whips, shouting...the whole nine yards.

2003-05-29T14:35:00.000-04:00

one more thing, i get amazed at the ingenuity and genius of the roofing and gutter job. the control of waterflow from level to level, well, its just astonishing.

geez. its like a hurricane here. whatsupwitdat?

2003-05-29T14:31:00.000-04:00

it's dark outside, and im scurd.

when there's lightening, i slightly get horrified at the thought that a bolt might strike my roof, surge up through the outlets, channel up through the cord, past my keys and into my body only to fry my tissues and possibly stop my heart from contracting.

scary eh?

today, was one day, in a long time, that i did absolutely nothing.

amen to that.
actually, i ploughed the and set down new soil for my mom's vegetable garden.

it said the soil was "organic". isn't all soil organic? buncha tards.
while sweating and crisping under this morning's sun, i noticed that this particular soil smelled like poo.
ahhhh, the smell of organic. poo. *inhale*......poo, soo good *exhale*...poo so nice, so fresh and so clean (clean).

we grow our vegetables in poo. tasty. pooful, but organic.

and the rain comes down!
and the boys up in heaven continue to hit strikes in their bowling game. makes me wonder, do they have those cool bowling balls? the custom ones - like a clear one with the skull in the centre or a metallic purple one with a lightening bolt engraved on it?

and im outtie.
lates.

2003-05-28T23:34:00.000-04:00

finally some real opposition

give "the man" a run for his life soldier!

north vietnamese regular

WWII Japanese Air Force Officer

"Battling Bastard of Bataan"
(my personal favourite)
customized too. zeen.

2003-05-28T00:13:00.000-04:00

titty-clitty gangbang.

the title has nothing to do with anything.

elsewhere, in the confines of the caverns deep within jay's mind........

my summerskool class keeps reminding me of:

1. mark harmon's summer school class.

or

2. pfeiffer's dangerous minds class.

something like that. dunno why.

there are no stupids in there or anything; i just get a similar mood in such an atomosphere. gotta problem??

speaking of.....

i'm definitely gonna cop one of these costumes for my wife.
most definitely. you guys think the wip is included?

"meow, baby. I SAID MEOW DAMMIT!"

2003-05-25T21:03:00.000-04:00

aww yeaaaaa, coaching: the art and science exam in roughly 12.5 hours!

matter under mind, baby. matter under mind!

oh f'shizzle, ma nizzle.
on the rizzle, u a-grizzle?

2003-05-25T13:10:00.000-04:00

thou shall remember thy sabbath day and keepeth thine holy

in other words...my sunday. or let's say "sunjay" (you know, sunday..."sunjay"...get it? the day..and sun..and jay.."sunjay". now you get it??? and no, not the little indian boy four houses down...ahhh, forget it! you're hopeless).

the broken down, low-down:

church.
vietnamese food.
a vietnamese rendition of the eagles' smash hit, "hotel california".
wise-guy, italian mafiosos coming into a predominately asian eatery and having a few beers and some sherry.
solidifying knowledge surrounding soft-tissue injuries and how to deal with them.
and last but not least, family day!

booya. everyday should be sunday.

one more thing: wish a brother luck for coaching midterms that are to be written on early monday mornings.

2003-05-24T10:31:00.000-04:00

ahhhhh, exactly how life should be - working out, eating, reading and studying.

but hey, i ain't picking up no soap so you can just forget about all'a that.

2003-05-23T23:39:00.000-04:00

even on summer friday nites he stays in!

to study of course.

these exams just keep coming at me.
*gasp

already a midterm on monday?!!

2003-05-22T22:02:00.000-04:00

one more thing..they even do yoga at that skool!

forget the potato/sponge stamping, let's meditate!

2003-05-22T21:09:00.000-04:00

saw this wicked segment on the sathya sai school.

upon hearing the name sathya sai, i knew the institution would have only good things to be said about it.

a bit about it...the sathya sai school is a private elementary skool with 50 of its kind all around the world - 1 located somewhere in north america.

personally, i've grown up as a devout catholic, skooled through the catholic boards, throughout my secondary (highskool) years up till now, university. although catholicism has merely nothing to do with the sathya sai skool, i can see where the two have common values and goals essential for kids to understand.

where the catholic skool instills the universal Christian notion of loving your neighbour, the sathya school (hindu-based, mind you), instills children with the belief and accordance of the 5 human values of: truth, right conduct, peace, love and non-violence; exactly what all children in such a shit-box world need to have as their foundation in life.

however, what i liked about the sathya sai school, was the premise that all faiths, were valued in the school.

now i know, from personal experience, that in catholic elementary schooling (mine that is, cant speak for all skools in the world), there's a lack of respect for other faiths. im sorry, not really a lack of respect, but a lack of recognition.

is this really the best way to raise the fragile mind of a child who will eventually grow up in, and share a world where all faiths and congregations should have equal rights?

i dunno, that's just a flaw i see in the skool system that i was brought up in that's all. it was only till mid-hiskool that we started learning about world religions other than Christianity. i feel it's such a shame we missed out, and that even today, kids are still missing out.

how can people of different religious backgrounds and faiths be expected to get along if there's no understanding of one another? i believe that due to this absence of awareness, the wars we have witnessed, over and over again, have been goin on for centuries, and continue to go on in some parts of the world.

anyhow, i just wanted to give mad props to the sathya sai school.

on another personal note, i believe children and even adults, to an extent, should find their own paths to faith when the right time makes its appearance.

its good, and im thankful that my parents had a hand influencing me to believe in Jesus and all, but ultimately, me being confirmed into the faith...well, i can truly say that was my choice and not simply a must-do on life's list or a "it's the next logical step" sorta thing.

makes me think about how imma react, if i have kids and my wife isn't a catholic. im pretty sure we'll both (me and her) let the kid(s) make up their own choices as long as it's not satanism or any devil-worshipping related faith (devil = bad, we all know that. cmon now). in other words, it wouldn't matter to me. like my personal experience, i'd want my seeds to find their own faith and not have it forced upon them. that's the true way of building faith. phew! thank God my parents didn't have to shovel anything down my throat i didnt want to swallow in the first place.

that's all for this entry. not that funny, i know. out of the usual, but hey, i can't always be a funny guy, n'est pas?

sathya sai baba
(no, it's not snoop dogg, it's not even lenny)

God bless sathya sai baba.

peace.

learn more about the man with the microphone head here.

2003-05-21T23:01:00.000-04:00

haha i see you're using the gay template with the rocks and pebbles. interesting.

2003-05-20T22:01:00.000-04:00

the kid's driven. it ain't hard to tell.

most of you are probably aware how passionate i am about my field of study, and ultimately my life's career in kinesiology and/or a profession in close relation to it. well, imma take it upon myself, for personal reasons, to, every now and then, pay homage to the forefathers/mothers of the skool.

of course, this won't start now, tonite that is. i just posted this as a reminder.

so there...note to self.

-jay

2003-05-20T10:12:00.000-04:00

standing eight count in effect.

has anyone ever seen a filipino dad watch boxing?

let me tell ya, flips are heavily into their pugilism. y'all gotta see my pops. he actually gets into the ring. his shoulders shift (right-left-right-left) as if sticking the jab. the man screams at the t.v. as if he's the corner man. its surreal i tell ya. obviously he had a big impact on my interest in the sport.

i dunno what it is, but lately, i've been heavily into solo sports.
i dunno if it's the fact that i dont wanna rely on teammates to help me achieve or if it's the extreme opposite, and i don't wanna be blamed for errors in the game. the fact remains, i'm slowly getting turned onto solo sports. fighting sports, most track sports, gymnastics, powerlifting, skateboarding, pie-eating, the whole nine.

but back to boxing. it was de la hoya (not to be confused with yours truly, the real golden boy, jason de los Reyes), the golden boy VS Campas. alrite fight mind you. you wouldn't think it'd be due to the odd de la hoya had over campas. but a good match nonetheless.

as for september, i cant wait to see de la hoya VS mosley. now that's gon' be a dope-ass scrap.

in terms of boxing or any other fighting sport, these athletes are probably, in my opinion, the most conditioned athletes in any competition out there. theyre pretty much up there with endurance athletes.

has anyone ever fought? im talking a real-life fight. well i have, if we look back at our elementary days and other instances of my "yute". if you didnt know,most real, street, non-sanctioned fights last a matter of 2minutes. imagine these boxing cats goin for 10 rounds or more? tougher than leather. but yea, thats the boxing rant for the day.

one more thing, i think there's another aspect that i truly appreciate in boxing. it's the knockout.

does anyone understand the mechanics of being knocked unconscious?
well run through it, so you too can appreciate some dude or chick gettin' decked.

your brain is suspended in something called cerebrospinal-fluid. under normal conditions, all is good and the brain is static. now when you get hit in the head with great force, the impact moves the brain and rattles every portion of the organ. if the impact is hard enough, the brain moves so much in the fluid that it taps (or even more than taps, at times) the skull. when the brain taps the skull in this manner, the brain has to shut-down for a split second or more and localize all functions toward the area of impact, in order to ensure the brain gets the "a-ok" to proceed with its function. its asorta safety measure your body takes. now if this impact against the skull is hard enough, it can cause severe damage and more..this is called a concusion. usually, one concusion in an activity or sport isn't that serious. however, the athlete must rest up at least 2 weeks before recieving another concusion. on the flip side, if a concusion is recieved within that 2-week down "recoup" down-time, that'll leave serious implications on motor function and ability; possibly permanent neck, nerve and brain damage. and that my friends, is partially, the low-down on gettin' knocked the fuck out - (wo)mannnnn!

so the next time you see some chump getting knocked out, try and envision everything that's goin on in the skull, down the neural pathways, through the nerves etc. for that/those split second(s), the body hits the emergency "off" button. thank you. now go and practice knocking out your homegirls and homeboys. that's your homework for tonite class.

have fun.

2003-05-19T19:44:00.000-04:00

he's asian..not the yellow type though.

i spend less than a day outside and im already as dark as a mexican.

everyone, please feel free to call me pedro.

2003-05-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

bored.
breakbeats a-thumpin' and reading is currently how i cope.

2003-05-18T10:54:00.000-04:00

when you have free time, you start thinking.

therefore, don't ever have free time.

2003-05-18T10:10:00.000-04:00

hip hop ya don't stop.

whoa whoa. whatta coincidence. i started to download brown sugar last night, seeing at this is a long weekend, and i have shit-all to do. so i set the kazaa to dl mode for this flick and it's gonna take approximately, what?...3hours. not bad. head downstairs and watch some idiot box.

and what's on t.v.?!! much music's phat15: the most influential hip hop artists.

dope is what i say. so im watching this and it occurs to me that, "wow this is like a hip hop day"...the movie, the phat15..its all good.

about the much phat15, i do agree with their list, more or less, however, there were some missing, and also, some that could've been up higher on the list. however, im sure we all agree that run dmc was placed at a well-deserved primo-spot.

as for the flick, brown sugar...

personally speaking,
that movie is so real it's scary. and that's all i gotta say about that. cop dat flick. actually, you don't gotta cop it, just dl it like the rest of the world. it's worth a watch.

so that made the 8th movie i've watched this month. wow. and the month isn't even done. peace.

*chillin in a b-boy stance

2003-05-17T03:02:00.000-04:00

jacked off someone else's blog:

"Choices...are they really illusions like the mentioned in Matrix: Reloaded? What gives us a choice? Why is there always a choice? From what I understand so far, it isn't about the choices that we will make, because based on who we are...we would already have made those choice a long time ago. It's always the question of why we make that choice because individuals make choices based on who they are. But here is something that can really hit our noodle. We're human beings...as unique as every individual is, we all live by the same rules, the same natural human system. We all have our emotions, we all react the same way to pain and joy. By that fact...won't that mean when a push comes to shove... at the root core we all will make essentially the same choices?

Not much of a choice isn't it?

I guess we have have to have choices...even though at some part we already chose to be who we already are. It's not about predestiny and fate. I don't believe in that claptrap. It's all about cause and effect. If you are who you are at this very moment, taking the paths you took at this very moment. Then your options in the future will be narrorwed down to the choices you made right now. Its that simple. Change who you are...and the paths will change in the future. But this is for the far future...not the immediete future. You can't change thie options given to you in the near future because it is the effect of what you chose a long time ago.

If we only had the give of foresight, if we only could see the many paths and roads that we take. If we could take what we need rather than kill for what we want. Then choice WOULD be a true choice. Speaking of choices, I've gota choice to either get off my butt and do something or sit in front here and keep typing. As far I work is concerned, I really need to get off my butt and do my assignments. That means I need chocolate...see what I mean by the choices and the effects...:)"

amen to that.

2003-05-17T02:59:00.000-04:00

some humour for you and yours - island stylee.

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

THE FINALISTS:

Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Iran
Ms. India
Ms. Philippines
QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that , male organs in America are like gentlemen.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

(Applause....Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. IRAN: Well. I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.

QUESTION: And why do you say that?

MS. IRAN: Because they always enter through the back door.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. INDIA: Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a laborer.

QUESTION: Why do you say that?

MS. INDIA: Because it works day & night.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ahh... well, opcors, hihihi... I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis!

QUESTION: Chismis?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy! Sorry... it's ano, ahh kuwan... it means GOSSIP in our language.

QUESTION: Hmm... interesting comparison. And why do you say that?

MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy... dyahe! Hihihi! Kasi... I mean... Because... it passes from mouth to mouth.

(STANDING OVATION!)

2003-05-17T02:35:00.000-04:00

im have a weird fetish concerning girls with track jackets...the old skool kind. fitted too.

i can't really explain it or identify the origin...it just is.

2003-05-16T08:59:00.000-04:00

lazy kid!

i have coaching class in 30 minutes.

i think it's pretty safe to say that im not going.

crap weather, an early morning 9:30 class and a long weekend, well those are the main ingredients of a lazy-skip-day-jay stew.

2003-05-16T08:56:00.000-04:00

the m.o.t.w. speaks of being an
introvert.

others are
extroverts.

me, well...i`m just a
pervert.

2003-05-14T23:36:00.000-04:00

the sound of a humped animal

call me camel-jay cause i outpee the competition.

no foolin'.

2003-05-14T00:26:00.000-04:00

good movie.

see it. more on this later (i gots sleep to do), but for now...
posse out.

2003-05-12T20:57:00.000-04:00

slippin'.
i had to stop watching t.v. cause really, there's nothing on. there's a lackage in decent programming, im sorry. and besides, all those maxi pad commercials aren't of the slightest interest to me.

why do girls need those wings anyhow? you planning on flying away or what?!!

anyhow, in this entry imma sorta just flash a bunch of different thoughts im having. in other words, there most likely won't be any connections between anything i say. but then again, you don't care anyhow. shoot, i wouldn't. but yea...

first and foremost, for tomorrow, i'd like to wish my homeboy, fellow outsider, co-radio dj in highskool, lotto ticket buyer/20-pack water bottle carrying slave, fat poker, wise-ass colin a very happy 21st birthday...tomorrow that is. i know the day dude, dont worry. but yea, whcha wanna do this weekend? i think since its ur birthday, and youre probably the only one who would go out and eat indian food with me, it'd only be natural that you go and buy me some grub. tandoori chicken and maybe some curry sounds mighty fine. so yea, i'll let you do that for me..anytime, barfday boy.

ahhh the good ol' days

2 years ago already dude?
(read more about it here)

skool..today was messed. well not really, but r.j. blinebastard has me applying the term "messed" to everything nowadays. bet you didnt even know that did ya fool? so yea, that's messed. decided to take the late Go bus today, considering its a monday, and i wanted to prolong my lay-in-bed-like-a-lazy-monkey-time just a smidge longer. so yea, i took the late GO. saw one of my friends on the same bus. she questioned, "are we gonna be late?" (you must note, this was the late bus. taking this late bus would mean getting to class right on time). i reassured her, "naw, well be there right on time". mind you, this is the egyptian girl with the really big rackage...but you should also note, no, i wasn't oogling her rackage.

im a gentleman.
geez.

so anyways, we're talking about skool and what not...pretty good conversation. talking about the prospectable jobs once we get out or even the prospect of post-graduate studies related to our field. so back to the good stuff...we're walking and talking..walking...talking...and the question came up.
yes, the question of the century that everyone seems to be asking me these days.

this question im referring to comes in various interrelated forms, of course...such as:

so, do you have a girlfriend?.....who's you're girlfriend?....how are the girlies?...where's you're girlfriend?..no girlfriend?...jay..no girlies?...what's goin on with the hunnies?...who's that girl?..hey man, is that your girlfriend?...etc.etc.

the answer is, no! there is no girlfriend. i do not want a girlfriend. i don not have time for a serious girlfriend (i say "serious", does that mean i'd have time for an acting or humourous one?). there is no funding to support a girlfriend. i do not have the brain power to currently have a better half. *jay thinks "who needs a better half when your the best whole?"*

k, i didn't answer like that..i simply said "naw" and reflected the question to her. she agreed, and likewise the "naw, i don't do that" was spit back to me.

no, the "naw i don't do that" didn't mean she's a carpet-muncher, it simply meant she, like me had no time nor energy. and there we go folks, the interesting, and probably the focal pointed interaction of the day.

lesson: university years should be the most selfish years of your life.

but shoot, have some fun too. be young. have fun. drink pepsi.

don't know if that was of any value to you, nor do i care. you people should not, i repeat, SHOULD NOT be on the internet all the time. furthermore, you should not be reading my mumbo-jumbo nonsense. read something productive. stop coming here. really. for your health. let me add to that, you dont even gotta read something productive, go look at porn. excercise your wrists and fingers. us that new purchase from downtown..maybe even get some play outta that doll you copped off ebay. be gone.

so to continue with this day(if youre still here), coaching class ended early but the timing was fucked. too early to catch the late bus, yet too late to catch the current bus. i was not in the mood to sprint across campus to catch a stupid green bus back home on such a gloomy and wind-filled day at odd summer morning hours. so i decided to not catch the bus. i can wait. i headed to the book store and read some magazines. damn, my skool has a nice selection of mags, i gotta tell ya. we got underground hip hop mags...an assortment of fitness mags..art mags...ad busters....fashion mags....car mags...etc. throw in x-rated mags, and the york bookstore is supreme.

so i give the time-piece some attention; great, 15mins left. a whole 15 minutes. from point A to point B, point B being the bookstore, i head my ass over to the arcade, point C. haven't been there in a long long time...so i decided id make a visit. man oh man was i surprised!

they got this new machine..i think i heard about it before, but damn, to see it with my own two eyes was magnificent! it was the fist of the northstar game. the arcade game!

ill say it now, if you've never watched fist of the northstar, get off my page, get your flat-computer-seated-ass to your nearest video store or comic store or specialty store or video store and rent/buy this anime.

i'll give you a little taste...a man hits another man. the other man's head explodes into hundreds of small fragments with blood and guts flying and spraying everywhere. it's beautiful. and this occurs numerous times..enough to make a whole series out of! but yea, cop dat vid.

back to the video game, its a physical one. not simply button pushing and joystick rotations. this one, requires the player to physically hit moving targets that flash at light-speeds (k, maybe not light-speed, but damn fast!) in an attempt to interact and eventualy defeat the on-screen opponent. awesome. i applaud the japanese. genius. as for the game, no, i didn't play. yes, i suck, but i had no loonies (that's the canadian dollar coin) and i wasn't ready to break a ten for a game. so yea, i didn't play. im gonna play though. maybe this week, maybe next week..some day, i will play though. its funny i speak of this. cause a friend of mine (you know who you are) was saying how chinese kids don't play this particular game cause you cant cheat. like that boxing game in the arcade, where you gotta move and shit..and punch..if you notice, its the chinese cats who arent even punching the screen. they just hit the sensors together (sensors in the gloves that you wear when playing. yes boys and girls, im a detailed geek). or the gun games, where they get around the difficulty by placing their index finger in the trigger-loop. from this point, the finger is tapped back and forth, for a faster shot, verses squeezing the trigger (the real way of shooting a gun). STOP CHEATING! this goes for streetfighter too. stop cheating. i'd like to see some good combos. you too r.j., damn addict. but yea, to sum it up, i love video games. and shit...fist of the northstar! (see, i didnt even know how to finish that sentence. i was so excited).

as for the rest of the day, went to the gym, blah blah (monotonous bloggage like other wack journalists - but who am i to judge right? to each their own.) ate a nice pot of sinigang..watched some t.v. and like i said earlier, im now here.

to back-step a bit here, trust me for once and try sinigang with bagoong. believe me. i know im sorta an unorthadox filipino when i do this, but try it out. its da bomb.

on a more serious note (can jay ever be serious???? sure can.) a white man, slapped an asian kid, sorry, a grown young asian man in the back of the head for no apparent reason. hahaha no, not me. but i heard an account today. funny, indeed.

id like to state that im not racist or anti-anything. like i've said in the past, im simply pro-asian. if there's a problem with that, then don't read this. in fact, go to your kitchen, look in the pantry and fridge and make yourself a sandwich. a dick sandwich.

to be blunt, go eat a dick!

with that said, i guess its obvious that i despise racism. racism against my peoples, shoot, that's to another degree. but can you really blame me? in the past, i've tagged along with my dad when he's done jobs for "the charter group". i've worked with my dad. i've been to work with my mom. i've seen it all. it's not fair, believe me. i bet alot of you, yourselves have been victimized by ignorance at some point or another. maybe you haven't..but im sure you have. then again, maybe you overlooked it....im telling you with the snap of my finger, wake up now.

as for the "accountant" who this account (with the head slapping) accounts for, don't be hostile. you were right in your actions (or lack of). just laugh it off...to an extent. i stress, an extent.

as for me, ill be straight forward with all of you. i use the white man's education to eventually not be under the white man's thumb like a cockroach. you all should strive for this. now, this doesn't mean imma be over them - of course not. i simply want, at the bear minimum, equality. AT THE BEAR MINIMUM.

use the system! work through the system...that's my current motto. hostility, well....that's the last resort. brains before fists. or brains before malatov cocktails.

whether you wanna believe it or not, it's their world.

but i reserve myself. there are alternative paths, but im sure you all know, these are currently not scheduled on the agenda of my life. although, there is a capacity to be capable.
know that. but yea...im reserved.

will any minority group ever be truly free?

as for the the term "minority", how are groups "minority" when their populations obviously excel the charter group ranges?
ever think about that? go back and re-read the statement twice, or maybe even thrice.

minority in what sense?

pro-asian. not anti-anything.

let that be stressed.

and yea, for your personal information and satisfaction, i have all types of friends . all races, relgions and of course my favourite, sexes. holla.

as for now, there's supposed to be some sorta three's company, made for t.v. movie special on. if you're reading this, check your local listings, im sure it's on in your town.

one last thing...i went to the mall this weekend. this time, to actually do some shopping for gear as opposed to cutting through to get home. so i wanted gear. shopped around with my bro. i noticed, everyone is going for the unification of the perfect gender.
that is, they eventually want a perfect being with a single gender present. asexual probably. i thought i'd only read about this in science fiction novels or observe such ideas through film. boy was i wrong. i can only conclude this is becoming a reality.

im speaking of guy's clothes. when did everyone decide to cut their balls off? is this the new trend? there's the extremes nowadays. there's the hardcore thug at the negative end. on the opposite extreme (i wont say "positive" cause its not positive) there's the fancy/pretty boy look.

i think i fall neutral.

but back to gear, sandblasted, low-rise flares????!! FOR MEN?!! tight shiny shirts and jackets that reflect light?!! the "jesus shirt" like enrique iglesias where the neckline dips, even sometimes supplemented with the draw strings and criss-cross weaving? the flowers on the denims with bedazzler studs?!!
where's all the good gear at? guy takes a leave of absence from the mall and everything turns topsy-turvy. my lawd!.

more on this some other time...im missing out on that three's company special.

ha! three's company. its only one of my favourite sitcoms of all time!

man, that's a good show.

and one last last thing, that i had to mention...team canada are world hockey champions!!!! ya betta ax somebodeh!!!
i talk to much don't i?

have a good one.

2003-05-11T22:18:00.000-04:00

as for mother's day, i practice what i preach (see two entries down).

2003-05-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

itchy eyes.

the green mile is a good movie. it was on t.v. last night and it really made me think about how this world is in need of more humanity and how.....

the death penalty sucks ass.

ssssssssssssssssss

somehow, killing solves killing in our world.

that makes 6 movies i've watched this month. and it's only the second week. it would be 7 if you count the 2nd time i watched monsters inc. with my niece and nephew.

that's a whole lotta plot.

2003-05-11T09:18:00.000-04:00

happy mother's day

give her a kiss. a hug. some flowers. pamper her. not just today, but everyday.

if it wasn't for her, your ugly mug wouldn't be here.

2003-05-09T23:27:00.000-04:00

how far down does the rabbit hole go?
a boy got stabbed twice. he lost a lung in the process. although this would appear to be a great loss to the human anatomy and function of the body, smoking is still on the chap's agenda.

do you understand the ugly grip that addiction has around life's neck? this obviously illustrates how the body is capable of defeating the mind. he know's he has one lung, yet he continues this habit.

matter under mind is key.

anyhow, the matrix was on t.v. i stayed home (yes on a friday) to watch. staying in was not in the order of that, however. im really tired. i think its the summerskool schedule.
yea, most likely, that and my allergies..its like my eyes are puffy.

me needs eyedrops!

one more note, i can't wait to watch matrix reloaded next week. i sound like a geek, and im not sorry.

sorry to all though however, i cant watch with you. imma see it with my bros. so sucks to be you (maybe).

happy weekend.

2003-05-09T01:43:00.000-04:00

damn that's a good movie.

damn im up late.

damn i gotta wake up in 4 hours.

2003-05-08T23:18:00.000-04:00

in regards to the previous entry, its on showcase.

i found that out when linking the network sites. so there.

see, i look out for you, my viewers. im so nice. well, not really. im evil. very evil. muhahahhaahahaha

support those indie films ya heard!

2003-05-08T23:13:00.000-04:00

bear witness to the fitness.

9am went to the gym with mark. improved my back health and did 1/2 an hour of intense cardio.

730pm gal-pal em, from univerisity of western ontario up in boonie-london, decided that since she cut off all aspects of fitness during her finals, and had no choice but to eat nothing but harvey's and manchu wok for the duration of examination, that poor jay, the york dork kin major, and past year personal trainer would bear the short end of her unfit stick. in other words, she called me up to go for a run. why did she call me? well, we havent seen eachother in awhile, nor trained together....but realistically, its cause she knew i never turn down a workout. brilliant jerkette, she is.

im not complaining mind you. i could do nothing but benefit from an evening jog. man im feeling good today though. that was point. that was the point of this entry. thank you. me feeling extra fit while typing this and eating an apple too. water on the side. thats about glass number 9. holla. that means pee you could almost bottle and re-sell.

aside from that, my eyes are burning. is this the start of my allergy season? crap. i hate pollen. i hate it with an extreme passion.

one last note, check out the movie ghostdog tonite on showcase or bravo (if u live in canada). itll air at 1120pm (thats pretty darn soon, i know)..uncut which is good. indie film which is good. based on the book, "hagakure" which i read. cant really call it a novel, its more of a self-help book for the samurai. but yea, nuff said. check that shit out. good flick. trust me.

haha i like when i make short phrases with little concern for grammatical mechanics. its all in my emphasis. feel me? good.

2003-05-08T13:11:00.000-04:00

All
Day
I
Dream
About
Sex

daddy got some new hops.
for that lemon-lime twang in your everyday lifestyle.

2003-05-06T11:46:00.000-04:00

hey! what's the big idea?

imma ask this question once, and once only...

who the fuck ate my last few sour patch kids?!!

urrrghhhhhhh!!

its ok though, aside from the empty pack of sour kids, i got a full row of maple cream cookies here. so im sorta rest-assured.

sorta.

*steams

2003-05-05T22:58:00.000-04:00

fit finley: the belfast bruiser!

yeah!@!!!

2003-05-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

a coach is more than just a coach. they're a personified kick in the ass.

famous lines:

"You'll be able to spit nails, kid. Like the guy says, you're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder. You're gonna become a very dangerous person."

...and..

"get up you sonovabitch! cause mickey loves you."

nice. but im kinda iffy about using such methodology when coaching kids. dont think that'd be the best path.

2003-05-05T18:03:00.000-04:00

the 1st day.

it was cold while waiting at the stop. on my first day too..had to be like this...IN MAY! now ive got some slight sniffles. great. im not supposed to get sick more than once a year! wok the heck.

get to class and its a rather small and intimate class setting compared to the 200 to 700 seat lectures im used to. this class has 50 so everyone by the end, should know everyone. i noticed there were alot of upper year students in there with me. i was probably one of the youngest. heres where i implant my question(s) into the entry:

does every girl at my skool have blonde hair and wear summer gear all the time??

also...

is every guy but me taking steroids?!!

geezus.

as for coaching, that solid, breakless/intermission 3 hours went by in a flash. its an interesting course. imma be honest and say id never think it would be. i was wrong. theres some good stuff to know in there. oh yea, guess who had to present a scenario in front of the class on the first day?...aint no thing though. kinda liked presenting, gets all that first day awkwardness outta the way. now i can do as i please since the ice has been cracked.

one more thing, i thought id be borrowing my friend's coaching manual for this term. whatta sham! theyre making us all buy a copy regardless cause they have a set number to sell or something. otherwise, some people dont get a grade or some bogus excuse like that.

that's the wackness right there.

as for me, i gotta decide what kinda coach i wanna specialize as..im thinking track and field.

myself, over the past few years, ive taking an interest in the sport and shifted away from team sports. personally, in terms of solo sports, i like to compete on my own. that way, if you mess up, you got noone to blame or noone able to put blame on you, but yourself; that's my reason (partially).

so i think track and field is the path imma take...either that or men's gymnastics.

well nuff of this boring ass entry.

look out for the more spectacular entries next time. or not.

peace.

2003-05-05T13:32:00.000-04:00

mmm..mrs. kelly hu de los Reyes. has a nice ring to it.
my, what long nails you have.
oh, the better to pick your nose with my dear!!

even when she`s dying she`s hot. but hey, no lines for my asian sisters?!! c`mon dawg. i guess she`s just supposed to be submissive and exotic right? i see how it is.

k, last one. my wife has to wear executive suits. she has to. she has to look like this...well minus the gun of course. and when she`s at home, she can just be naked, with me. together. naked. and we`ll play. together. nakedly. but again, any other time, she has to wear executive suits. thank you.

2003-05-04T20:22:00.000-04:00

back to reality.

about summerskool tomorrow, i dont have any paper...no binder...unsure about spare lead...very little ink left in my pen...im not even sure if i have any more passes for the bus. oh well. its funny, cause never in my life did i ever think id have to take summerskool. then again, idont have to, im just planning wisely for my third year. but back to the fact, in all of my 20 years in academia, id never think id be spending the least bit of my precious down time in class.

then again, i learned from the summer following my first year in university that 4 months is lonnnnnnnnng. its a long long time! so in other words, it aint so bad.

g'day.

2003-05-04T20:09:00.000-04:00

aww summerskool.

i shall pause and assess the situation...

(seconds later)

yaaaay! summerskool at york!!!

yaaay...york girls during the summer.

come to your own conclusions here.

2003-05-04T10:35:00.000-04:00

sunny sundays

drool is really disgusting when its on your pillow and you roll your face over it.

2003-05-04T03:47:00.000-04:00

it flickers...must be a loose connection.

this is my skool.
the flashing building is where imma be for the next month or so, 3times a week, for 3 hours a day.

you must be wondering why its flashing. well wonder no longer. its flashing cause thats where i am. im such a spectacle, i tend to illuminate everywhere i go and every building i enter. my presence leaves people awestruck and structures glowing.

either that or there's a bomb...or traces of plutonium in the bedrock. either, or.

2003-05-04T03:34:00.000-04:00

i like the fact that after highschool everyone just cuts off everyone else.

i like the fact that when your in need of some support, there's rarely any available, yet in the future, theres a high possibility that these same people are most likely gonna be jocking you after you gain your success..yes, this is unofficially certain.

i like the fact that i can forsee how things are gonna end up in the future.

i like the fact that this world is fucked up.

i like the fact that you embrace my cynicism.

i was being sarcastic. i think it all sucks ass. maybe thats just a part of getting old.

ive realized some sure signs that im getting old. two of those being:
1. you dont really have a keen interest in the new artists making music these days. youd rather listen to your old favourites or simply old(er) tunes

2. you think all individuals younger than you are inferior. in relation to that, you feel that theyre all corrupt in their lifestyles and morals and you claim that yourself, and anyone else your age, was never like that during that time period in life.

YES, THESE ARE SURE SIGNS...note them.

one last thing. big brother #2 finished university this past thursday. i say with great sibling pride that he's an electrical engineer. check his pinky, for he is the lord of the ring.
its been a long journey, and its now gonna all pay off. the world is his oyster.

(i need some of that oyster bidness)

truly a source of inspiration..that goes for both of my brothers - most definitely. thank you God.

about the robot he made for his thesis...i hope that thing doesnt kill me in my sleep. that's my biggest fear right now.

one last note, does anyone who rides the GObus from square to York U wanna sell me their partially and un-needed-for-the-summer 10-trip passes????? i did the math. yes, itd be more economical to buy 3 ten trip passes VS 1 month pass for my summerskool session...if so, holla at me.

if not, does anyone make counterfeit montly GO passes? if so, holla at me just the same.

*bus driver on intercom*
"next stop..square one...THE SQUARE."
(the square??? okay, cool guy.)

is that jay in the second last row, drooling on the seat?? naaaw couldn't be.
is it?

good nite.

2003-05-04T03:09:00.000-04:00

what da fock!!

damn...start summerskool tomorrow. this sucks ass.

aside from that..i've now concluded that all jasons are fucked up.

there was that guy from x-men...there's jason from the friday the 13th movies...jason from jamiroquai..hes talented yes, but messed up and coked up too...theres blah..and blah blah..blah blee...and blah...and oh yeah......theres me. see. point proven.

good nite tonite was..jus chillin with the posse. its funny that weve all known eachother since elementary skool..although i havnt been officially part of the crew since about gr. 11, its still interesting to see that we've had contact this long...as for us being friends....what the fuck is wrong with you guys? are u sick? must be if youre friends with me...messed up chaps.

its sunday..oh!

2003-05-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

x marks the spot..X-MEN!
(we need a bib over here for this man!!!)

(i'd let her kick me around)
...good movie...

...good movie...

...good movie...

(she can put her armpit in my face any day!)
...good movie...

...good movie...

...good movie...

but seriously, see it..its a good movie. blew away the first one guy! blockbuster smash hit guy! awesome guy, i swear man. awesome! hahaha who talks like that?!!

2003-04-30T17:04:00.000-04:00

a twist on the classic hotel/motel/island/abandoned-haunted mansion "whodunit" suspense
went to go watch a movie with my moms...i suggest you see today's pick, identity.
it has that twisty ending to it..on that "makes ya ponder" sorta tip. very good film. brilliant....*ramble ramble*...has that plot right outta an oldskool twighlight zone episode. see it!

the human nervous system (parasympathetic to be exact)
the film will fuck with it.

as for a few more flicks i gotta see before the beginning of next week: x-men 2 and of course....better luck tomorrow. so yea, anyone wanna come?

2003-04-29T13:58:00.000-04:00

you people should call me more often. i like that. but then again, i guess making yourself a hermit during skool has its consequences now don't it?

you know, my phone does recieve calls; it's not just the out-calling type. anyhow, happy summer fools. and what on God's green earth are you doing on here? y'all should be out enjoying this. geez...nosey people.

by the way, i think its about time i visit my eye doctor again. i really think so. if you see me driving next to you, take the next exit off that road.
if you see me at some fast-food establishment, and im squinting cause the menu looks like nothing but solid white/yellow bars to me, then laugh..laugh as hard as possible. from there on, you should stick out your foot and trip me as i walk by. after this, you can either take my food and/or pants me.

good times.

on my way to toronto...downtown that is. posse out.

(colin your ass still better be there and not home reading this within 4hours of when this was posted)

2003-04-28T17:33:00.000-04:00

perfect outside!

this is quite possibly, the worst apple that i've ever tasted. yuck.

its good to be back in the gym. on a related note, man, people get fat when they go to skool! not me, i get skinny..but shoot...some people....FAT!

2003-04-27T15:21:00.000-04:00

main title: happy birtday pops!
subtitle: day 1
yes, and so it begins. HELLO SUMMER.
make of this what you will.

anyhow, at church, they didnt have the holy water at the entrance. ok then. then it hit me when noone shook hands at 'peace be withya' time. good lookn out God. keep holdin the anti-SARS fort down.

shades of health lecture:

the chain of infection
the resevoir-->means of transmission-->portal of exit-->portal of entry-->new host

breaking the chain, like an obese person breaks their chairs. props.

side note: man there are some nice girls in church. i hate to say it, but damn that's a great ass right there.
(bless and forgive me father for my impure thoughts).

2003-04-26T14:44:00.000-04:00

2nd year done.

who'da thunk it?

but yea, i got told on that exam (ohhhhhhh diss). ugly folks. ugly. came out with a mouthful of bloody ass chiclets.
oh well, outta my hands now. cant worry bout shit like that. all i gotta do is wait and see...i care bout my gpa but i dunno, theres something about looking at your transcript in june. all i wanna see is the fine print at the bottom of my statement saying "congratulations, you have successfully completed your nth year"

anyhow, i have about a week till summerskool, so well try and make the best outta these numbered days.

now that im free, i dont know what to do. i guess well start with a list for the summer:

1. look for a job (if he's not in skool, he's making ends meet to put his ass in skool. its a cycle)
2. take up a language and/or martial art
3. summerskool for my kine elective...coaching! guaranteed B+ minimum (so if anyone needs coaching, call me coach. national level I certification at yer service)
4. camping with my peeps
5. go on a trip with my moms to the west coast
6. pre-term emergency care and/or scuba diving (kine is the shit, im telling you!)
7. get my ass back to the gym and reclaim my throne (focus = the most important muscle - the heart not the group around your penis).
8. summer games 2003 with the boys (soccer, tennis, bball etc.)
9. get some volunteer work done

and in between somewhere, barbeque(s), party, drink, chill, sleep, and fart.
all in moderation...cept maybe the farting.

and beginning in a few minutes, sleep, shave my head, shower and shave.

i look like shit which is good, cause i feel like shit.
fried.

there we go. and that shall be the template for the next four months.

be healthy.

naw fuck that.

be fit.

2003-04-26T06:04:00.000-04:00

k to the i to the nes-ology, ya heard! hahah what the fuck am i talkn bout?
kinesiology

YORK YORK YORK
goooo yeomen!

seriously...now let's do dis!!!
dont worry, i didnt boot up my computer just to come on here and rant. i had to re check the exam schedule. geez...

its t - 2.5 hours till i face kine 3011 human physiology I.

let's hope for the best here.

i hate writing in a gym with 700 others all around you. i hate that shit. im getting my own private room next time.

forcing down frosted flakes at 545am on a saturday isnt the greatest of feelings by the way.

oh!

2003-04-25T21:32:00.001-04:00

let's do dis.

2003-04-25T21:32:00.000-04:00

i see im not the only loser who goes to libraries on friday nites.

people i havnt seen in years were there.

2003-04-25T09:35:00.000-04:00

there's that slight anxiety again.
i think i have a mild-mannered case of acidosis.

blaaaaaaaaah

2003-04-25T00:15:00.000-04:00

k, its all in the LONG TERM MEMORY. today..later on that is, not now, its all bout massive review-quick skimmage sorta studying and ill be in good shape for saturday.

one more thing, how in the hell am i gonna get up at 6am on a saturday morning?

that's wack.

another thing, how come out of all my friends, i start writing exams the earliest, yet i finish the latest? oh well. better spread for me. jokes on you jack (offs)!

muscle innervation/ propagations of action potentials along nerves/ hormonal activity/ energy metabolism/ protein formation and nucleic acids/ membrane transport/ enzymes..yea, i got it all locked down. holllllerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2003-04-24T17:11:00.000-04:00

this is gonna be good.
you know i fucking emailed my prof concerning this saturday's exam. it had to do with a section he didnt mention during lecture.

because we didnt go over it, i had to clarify if this particular section from the lecture notes was under our responsibility to learn ourselves.

this email was detailed. i was polite...i even ended nicely.

i got his reply today.

it was a simple "NO YOURE NOT" -DH

FUCKER! i see profs dont like replying to students. well sorry for asking you big jag-off.

its gonna be my pleasure killing this fool's final, come saturday. now its personal.

same shit with my prof from first year. imma show them. imma come back and be the best kinesiologist when i grow up. imma be shoving knowledge down their $100 000/yr from teaching throats! you here me? throats!.....yea.

ok.

maybe that was a little outta hand. maybe this just got a little blown outta proportion. holla. wish me luck, i'll do/i'd do the same for you peeps!

2003-04-24T08:54:00.000-04:00

large McDammit sandich, hold the cheese please.

its too sunny to be stuck inside studying. maybe i should transfer to a hawaiian university. that way, i can study at the beach....with all the babes...drinking lemonade! holla.

2003-04-23T01:18:00.000-04:00

go leafs go!
go back home you big buncha good-for-nothings!

yea, imma bandwagon fan.

they choked. what the shouldve done was call me up and ask for some psychological skills training off the sport pysch tip, ya herd!

better luck next year (losers...awwwww).

im kidding.

well, i finished reviewing the endochrine and muscle sections of phys. im talkin thorough....very thorough. now just nerves..and a bit of skimmage through the early course content and im laughing. well see how that all goes. peace out.

im 100% better now!

2003-04-22T01:30:00.000-04:00

i always forget this....

go leafs go!

never lost hope in them during tonights game. fuck, damn thing took a good hour out my studying since i believed theyd be done, and going on to game 7, by the end of the third...but nooooooooo had to make it double OT.

go leafs go!

one more thing...it wouldnt be the same if don cherry didnt wear his suits. it just wouldnt be the same.

2003-04-22T01:20:00.000-04:00

his mom's magical concoction
k, ive been sick for awhile now.

but im getting better! seriously, no SARS. but nurse moms wanted to make sure. so she checked my temperature. she just had to.

whatd it read?

36.2C dawg!

see, i knew i was fine. perfect body temperature. i know my body. i know it.

after being rest-assured, moms made me some nice honey and ginger tea.

holy shit that works wonders!
imma have to share that with my kids.

ya see, i dont take medications. thats usually the last resort before death. even moms, a nurse, doesnt support taking meds for every little thing. and you know what? shes right!

of course shes right, shes my mom.

but yea, last thing we need is my immune system becoming immune to medications.

an immune immune system. whatta laugh.

be healthy.

2003-04-21T18:00:00.000-04:00

thanks for not telling me bout that song blineguy

word on the streets is jay kay of jamiroquai fame bought a ferrari enzo.

you know they just made under 400 of these worldwide? lucky bastard. that makes car #14 of his collection.

and mind you, the other 13 aren't k reliants...theyre mostly italian sports cars and rolls royces.

vrooooooom

bastard. but still, i love jay kay and the boys nonetheless...i want another album!! make another album! geezus.

i want one of these and an italian woman in the passenger side too.
yea, thats it, an italian sports car and an italian woman both being driven by an asian man in an italian suit eating pizza..oh yea, and maybe a can of brio.
that's definitely it.
("eh-a kid, pleeease! whattsamada for you?!!")

2003-04-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

i hear things.

no im not schizophrenic. i just kept on hearing voices in my head. the voices of all my friends to check my mark.

remember last night's entry where i said i didnt wanna check my mark till saturday after my physiology exam? well...i checked.

yea, i have a weak will. but shoot, all of your stupid ass voices were echoing in my skull.

"check it!"
"oh my gosh, how can you stand to NOT check it?"
"check it foo!"

and so on and so on...

so i checked.

B overall in stats baby!!!!

but yea, no time to sleep on skool yet, we gots the physiological mountain to conquer.

i thought seeing that mark would de-motivate me for saturday...i was wrong...im extra motivated now!

i am the fucking man!

recall....if you fail to prepare, youre preparing to fail.

i know, youve heard that before, and its corny..but it makes sense.

believe too fools! believe.

i just wanted the credit, cause surely, i thought stats was the end of me..but a B overall average for the course!! that's gonna surely have an effect on my GPA. holla!

looks like post grad can be a reality. oh f'shooooooo!!!

someone slap me..im hysterical here. i cant even type.

2003-04-21T01:28:00.000-04:00

you guys with your pencil-thin eyebrows and your pencil-thin moustaches all probably have pencil-thin penises.

am i the only boy who stuffs rolled or twisted bits of toilet paper and kleenex up his nose to stop post-nasal drip while reading?

well, am i?

funny thing about this little cold i have...my wardrobe for the last 3 days has been variations of track pants or jogging pants with long sleeve tshirts. today however, i switched it up a bit. sweatshirt with cargo shorts....that must mean im getting better.

i dunno how, but it must mean that. did i mention i havnt gotten fresh air in 3 days?

2003-04-20T23:45:00.000-04:00

whats the probability that i passed?

remember that big ass 70% weighted final exam for stats?....

well the marks are in.

yep, posted online. but im not checking..fuckit.

whether good or bad, but mostly bad, its gonna affect how i write physiology on saturday.

so no, im not checking marks till saturday afternoon.

thank ya very much.

damn people on my "skool friends" section of the msn list. damn them. why they gotta get me all curious? why?

2003-04-19T20:58:00.000-04:00

i have a splitting headache, i seriously do.

here our model is sporting the latest in evening wear from the 2003 gucci spring collection
(why bother? seriously.)

but yea, thats how splitting this is.

2003-04-18T18:29:00.000-04:00

and youre telling me filipinos dont have faith?

read more here.

2003-04-18T17:58:00.000-04:00

no no no meat fridays!
at the docks entertainment complex featuring d.j. baby-yu

join us for our grand reopening after 6months of luxurious renovations...the time all of you have been waiting for

no no no meat fridays!

leave your attitude, weapons and meat at the door.
ladies in free before 10 with no meat.
after that, anything goes down in:

no no no meat fridays!

dress code in effect. no hats, no runners, no jeans..and definitely...no meat! in:

no no no meat fridays!
live to air on 93.7 WBLK

import models, yes maybe, but definitely
no no no meat!

of course you know, this is my way of saying happy easter!
to my fellow catholics, remember, no meat today, if any day of the year. and do some fasting too! geez.

21 years of breathing and i still wonder 1. how they get the caramel in the caramilk bar and 2. how they get the creme inside the cadbury creme egg, out???

cop me some of these, someone please!

i see im not the only one who loves those darn eggs

2003-04-18T14:28:00.000-04:00

didn't this girl win AA MOTW a while back????

yea, thats what i thought.

what the hell!! who does she think she is????

being all fine with her consciousness, pro-asian activism, thick frame specs and hair.

wowie-zowie.

i'll quote and add to ms. MOTW, "knowledge is power - ignorance is NOT bliss. `tis time to BUILD!!"
if that's the case, im ready to build a whole tribe with her! holla.

car-model chicks bow down.

see, i give credit where it's due. cheers to her.

standford too huh??? remarkable, indeed.

and abstract art?? which compels me to paint a picture of what exactly i see, in my mind, if were to have a artsy-fartsy girl...

fartsy: yea jay..this is a work by ____________. its called _________.

jay: oh yea??

fartsy: it depicts ___________ and her/his sense of _____________; exactly what we need in the world today.

*jay stares at work*

jay:....

fartsy:....

jay: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!! you on acid?? i don't see any of that. youre tripping.

*fartsy gasps*

jay: no worries..do yo thang girl! you and yo' bad articulate self!

fartsy: aww jay..ur soo sweet.

jay: i know. lets go make sandwiches.

fartsy: exactly.

*sandwiches made..life is good*
the end.

to r.j., youre a fine arts major, hook a brotha up with an artsy-fartsy girlie! i know you have friends..cmon, be a brotha.

thanks r.j. (who by the way, although in fine arts, is not a homosexual..just had to add that)

2003-04-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

snot-nosed
im sick. someone check my testicles, i may have SARS.

let me say it now..on here...i will never marry a woman with breast implants.

lets just hope from now, till i turn, lets say 30years old, the trend of getting implants in the female population doesn't grow drastically. let's just hope so.

one more thing, brooke burke is excluded...cause i was attracted to her before she got implants..so yea, if i marry brooke burke, its ok. thats the stipulation.

2003-04-17T11:58:00.000-04:00

you know...if my name wasn't milkfart on aa..it'd probably be:

fly-azn-fag

now wouldn't that be a hot and interesting page?

2003-04-16T22:28:00.000-04:00

lamb chops play along

k, so i have free time (sorta)..and what did i decide to do today? well watch some movies of course.

so what movie to watch? what have i been planning to see for the longest time? hmm???

silence of the lambs of course! but then again, we have that on tape at my house..."so whats the next best thing?", jay might ask himself.

red dragon and hannibal of course.

minutes later...jay's at home ready for a good 6 hours or so of good eats on screen.

damn, i was satisfied. of course, i watched them all in the logical order...red dragon then hannibal. it wouldve been the "real" experience if i sandwiched silence of the lambs in between the two, but oh well..im short for time.

2003-04-16T19:09:00.000-04:00

happy burday r.j.! you big hairy scrotum sac you!

2003-04-16T11:35:00.000-04:00

its comforting to know your homeboys save all the hoochie pages on aa.

geez. have you seen some of these friend's lists?

how dat is?

2003-04-16T01:10:00.000-04:00

how could i forget?....

go leafs go!

2003-04-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

woman wants man.
you're gonna have a hard time finding one of those, sister.

make of this what you will, or lets make of this what i will.

i was watching t.v. during my nice relax time. and what do i find my ass landed on you ask?...elimidate.

for those who dont know, its this show with a guy or girl, and 4 girls or guys pursuing the guy or girl, respectively.

yea yea i know, i dont usually watch that crap, but hey, change is aite sometimes.

so this edition of elimidate had the chick as the centre of attention, a big pretty boy, muscles and all; two preppy white guys straight outta connecticut, and some looney cowboy guy (hes a cowboy cause he had a cowboy hat, not cause he had a sixshooter and was popping caps in the asses of native americans, drinking, banging whores at the nearest saloon or claiming the town as his own cause he had a silver badge).

so the date progresses..theres talking..theres dissing. like the usual game of love...pursuing..hunting..half the excitement right?
so the pretty boy, decked out in cut-off tee and shades..with long locks (that would make any pantene pro-v model jealous, mind you) gets cut up by the other three guys cause he's a so-called "prettyboy"....cause he wears the clothes he wears...cause he takes 2hours to get ready for a date (whatta bitch). oh yea..and did i mention? cause he wears make-up (what the fuck?!!). so he seems like he's wooing the girlie. the other guys seem like they got it locked down pretty good with their own strategies just the same.

as the show progresses, the competition gets more and more fierce as the girl has to eliminate one of her four competitors - thus the title "elimidate" (i.e. eliminate the jag-off).

so as i was saying, the shows getting really competitive, cause obviously, all 4 studs want to win the glorious pussy prize at the end.

thats the main objective here, correct? so it cuts to break, but before paying bills, each guy gets to predict whos gonna leave or not. obviously the 3 'normal guys' say the obnoxious pretty feller is gon' hit the bricks due to his cocky obnoxious attitude. *cue ads*

show comes back, the girl dumps cowboy and im astonished. anyhow, the date nite goes on..they go to a club or lounge or something like that, and i should note here, the chick is a big time whore..thats just my point of view. you can tell a lot from the way a girl dresses and holds herself up. but thats just an editor's note. back to the summary...

theyre in the lounge, and preppy 1, preppy2 and fancyboy are asked by girl, "what capabilities distinguish themselves from the others?"

ok, cool..one guy gives some slick answer...cause of course, you gotta say what u gotta say for the pussy right? another guy says some answer, bout the same level of smoothness. then preppy 1 (or was it preppy 2) says he can outkiss the other two buffoons (i can almost hear some of you saying right now, "heyyy i remember that episode!"). he obliges, and does the tongue action. the girl likes...but then, the other two attempt to outkiss the other consecutively.

at this point im squirming on my couch, ready to vomit. what the fuck is that??!!! not only is that wack..thats fucking disgusting. kissing some chick rite after herpesvirus harry and gonorrhea garry stuck their tongues down felatio-francine's throat. anyhow, fancy boy gets booted out next cause the girl came to her senses and didnt want a guy prettier than herself (which is how it should be anyways).

so its about 10minutes to the end of the show..its the preppies battling it out.

the next distinguishable feature is to show the girl your abs.

from here, tall, leather preppy got booted off and clean-cut oxford shirt preppy won the prized pussy showdown. and another ad..and blah blah..credits roll..next show. that was this evenings highlite of television with jason. im sure on any other nite at the same time, on elimidate, you'll probably catch the same sorta scenario.

now to the ranting.

what the fuck is that?!!

that's just too much right there. that was reality dating taken to the next level..fuck the bonus round in between, that was the next level.

i just dont understand. anyone able to explain? what just happend there?

where the fuck does that happen in reality? who does that happen to? where can i find these people so i can drop kick their asses?

the beginning of my entry said "woman wants man." this is true. and woman should settle for nothing less.
however, i add that woman cant find man.

why?

cause there are no men in this world. do women not understand?
k there are a few..a very small minority population..but mind you, ladies, youre really gonna have to keep your eyes peeled. im talking big eyes..maybe like chris tucker eyes..or an owl. yea, those are some big ass eyes.

lets take a look at men today.

we have thugs. girls like thugs. we'll rephrase that..alotta girls like thugs. its that whole badboy, living on the edge persona. these dudes..well, they are what they are. whether genuine or wannabe, thugs are thugs. why girls? one may ask..i do not care to investigate; id rather gain my satisfaction in the end by laughing.

next up, we have the dude with the car. yes, the nice car that mommy and daddy bought. yes, the nice car that whole entire month's pay checks go to in order to add a new exhaust, header or set of rims. these cats get all the pussy. why? girls like fast cars. girls wanna look good in fast cars that look good.
ok, fair enough.

next up, the rich guy..or during his climb up the ladder, the successful guy (whether academically, athletically, or whatever the hell u choose). of course stability is at the top of the list. but regardless if this guy is right or not, in terms of caring and affection, money is all the conversation that alotta girls hear.

what else?? lets see...

the big dick guy...do girls like big dicks like dudes like big tits? i dunno. some girls want guys hung like horses when they know damn good they cant fit that thing in them. even the loosest chick would be like a infant size sweater on fat albert. big dick sometimes takes precedence over all for some i guess.

then we have the nice wholesome guy. the good guy. the guy your parents want you to take home to your parents. these guys dont attract nor sellout amphitheatres like the dudes above, so we'll refrain directing any flow of interest in their direction.

last is the tough guy. he kicks ass. anyones ass. most of these guys are probably type A personality, have high blood presssure and will probably die early on in your marriage from a myocardial infarction (that's heart attack in english-zeeeen). of course chicks want an insurance policy..its innate, its in-born. ever since the primitive days..even on the level of animals..girls want a guy who can fetch food, cut down wood, protect their babies and themselves. its the way of the world.

well, thats basically the summary of what's out there. there might be overlap in each specimen of man you may come across..shoot, there may have been subcategories left out in this discussion.

what gets me, taking you back to the show, is the lack of masculinity that men have. whats that? men lack masculinity?

youre damn rite! i dunno why. i dunno how. but yes, some guys just aren't guys.

might be the environment..might be something woman has done to man..might be the drinking water! who knows. but men aren't men.

point and case..just go out and look around..shoot, dont even leave your house, turn on the t.v. there are men with pencil thin eyebrows..there are men with pretty fancy shirts. there are men wearing stilletos..there are men who look better than women. there are men like me who instantly regret typing that some men look better than women. there are men who let their girlfriends cut off their balls and feed them backtheir balls on a little saucer with a doilee. there are men who have their girlfriend's hand up their asses, puppeteering them around town.

as for the show, why the fuck bother? why bother..im referring to all 4 dudes..why bother? just to get some ass. but then again the answer comes so clear to me in my head. through all the darkness, in big bright glowing neon lights the letters: p-u-s-s-y light up (yes, he just said pussy..youre not hallucinating). it just has me shaking my head..some of the things we do for it.

why bother really? 4 guys..one chick (no not a porno..the show)...id give anything to see a fight breakout.

everytime a guy left..the loser wished good luck to the others.

"good luck?" what the hell is that? good luck. my ass. for the pussy. like its a big olympic event. even so, if it was, why the good luck? you just lost buddy. id be pissed. but then again, im not a dick-driven tard who'd degrade myself on a show like that anyways.

wouldnt that be a nice thought though? me on the show, i'd for sure, guaranteed, kick all the opposition's ass. i dont even care if the guy was 6ft 5"..id simply go to the car trunk, get the lead pipe and crush some skulls. but yea, thatd never happen, cause no, i would never be under those circumstances.

woman wants man.
good fucking luck finding that.

before we go..where do i fall in the above categories? hmmm?? something to ponder myself.

actually, i dont really care. i dont really give a shit. imma just keep on doin what im doin..keep on keepin on..and just be me. hopefully, that'll be good enough in the end.

not that i want a serious girlfriend right now mind you. this is in no way a cry for girlfriend-application-help. no way. i have no time..and i have yet to meet anyone who can stop me in my tracks or challenge me for that matter.

i am not a man who cries "i need a girlfriend" or to the beat " i need a girl to ride ride ride...". i am not defined by a relationship. certainly not. there's so much more to it than that; but we'll save that for another day to converse over.

that's all for now.

happy screwing.

2003-04-15T21:01:00.000-04:00

k, so im almost beginning to sweat my ass off. just a tad.

im not even doing anything strenuous..just here on the net.

i believe its this weather.

then again, it could be my hot ass room..could be the 90%heat relasing light, 10% light releasing lightbulb.

maybe i ate something spicy earlier and now its just coming out. kinda messed. oh well. i aint mad. im relaxed.

then again...could be the computer itself.
just thought id add that.

2003-04-15T18:37:00.000-04:00

28 degrees

and no, im not talking bout some cheesy boy band.

it hasn't been 28 degrees in my neck of the woods ever!

last time it was this warm this early in the season, was a mere 24 degrees back in 1942.

that's it, we're gonna die.

but im loving this. too bad it ends. crap.